Why You Should Stop Asking for Parenting Advice on Facebook

Asking for advice online is an exercise in futility

Kimberlee Murray
Human Parts
Published in
8 min readSep 9, 2019


Photo: Elizabeth Fernandez/Getty Image

Have you ever stood in a room full of strangers, hopped on a stage, and clapped for attention?

“Hi everyone. Can I have your attention please?” Tap, tap, tap… Is this mic on?

Have you ever asked for advice from hundreds of busybodies who know nothing about you but come pouring into the same room anyway?

“Hi!…*wave*… umm… I don’t know any of you… and… well… this is embarrassing. Listen, I need advice. My teenager spends hours on his phone. I’ve tried everything and nothing is working so can you tell me how to curb my kid’s phone addiction?”

Would you then welcome the surge of strangers who race for the stage, crawling over each other to wave their most valuable piece of advice in front of your face until your eyeballs go cross-eyed?

Advice-giver number one: “Me, pick me! I know exactly what to do. I took away my two-year-old’s favorite toy today and this is how I did it.”

Advice-giver number two: “I don’t have kids but if I were you, I would throw the phone away and elect officials who ban electronic devices altogether because the EMF frequencies contribute to global warming and destroy our planet. Just saying.”

Advice-giver number three: “My husband handles all the discipline in our house, so I’m pretty sure he would take the phone, smash it with a hammer, and spread the shattered pieces in my son’s bed. My son would then be forced to sleep on his broken phone, with his bedroom lights on and a dripping faucet as background noise, for at least nine days if he abused his phone privileges. Hope this helps!”

Wait. What?

You wouldn’t do that?

I know. Asking hundreds of strangers for parenting advice about topics on which they aren’t well-equipped to dispense advice sounds awful.

But that’s what parents do on Facebook. Every day.

And here’s why it should stop.

1. We don’t know you

The first reason you should stop asking for parenting advice on Facebook is that most people don’t…



Kimberlee Murray
Human Parts

A widow on a quest to make widowhood suck a little less. Offering practical tips and resources for widows managing grief and loss at www.widowsquad.com.