Member-only story
Humans 101
Your Definition of Love Determines How You Experience It
Love is an action, not an affirmation
“You’ll never find anyone that loves you more than me,” my high school boyfriend told me as I broke up with him. This was after I caught him stealing my Guns N’ Roses concert tickets and a gold nugget ring my mom had given me, along with other teenage valuables. Of course, I use the term “caught” lightly. I knew he stole them. He actually wore the ring in front of me — I just never confronted him. I didn’t want to rock the boat. But when I caught him cheating on me, that infraction was too big to overlook. The relationship was over. Even if no one loved me as much as he did, which seemed like a big risk back then, so be it.
Interestingly, this wasn’t the last time I would hear those words. As my ex-husband and I were separating, he repeated them verbatim: “You’ll never find anyone that loves you more than me.” He also added, “I’ll love you even when you’re old — other men won’t.” I guess he was appealing to my vanity. Since it seemed like I had spent the last 10 years walking on eggshells, pleading for him to get his career in order, and trying to diffuse angry outbursts, not finding anyone that loved me “more” was a risk I was again willing to take.
