Humans 101
Your Questions About Butt Aesthetics, Answered
Everything you always wanted to know but were too afraid to ass
Assholes. Everyone’s got one. But have you ever done that little fancy squat in front of the mirror to see what you’re working with back there? It’s okay — we won’t tell. As an expert in anal health, you can imagine I see a lot of — yep, you guessed it — assholes.
During a recent training session with our laser hair-removal machine, I recruited a few of my closest friends to model. (“So, who wants their asshole lasered?” I dropped into our group text.) These were gay men, and while I’ve seen most of them naked at some point, I’d never seen their asses up close and personal. However, the experience went smoothly (pun intended).
I found it funny that the next time I saw them, they couldn’t help but ask how their holes compared. Their questions ranged from “Who had the nicest hole?” to “Why was my hole darker than his?” to “Is my butt acne normal? I feel like it looks weird!” The conversation evolved into something like a group therapy session. I’ve had one-off conversations about assholes, but never before had I critiqued my friends’ assholes in public.
Upon reflection, I realized two things: 1) The ass is still an area of the body most people are unfamiliar with (even their own!), and 2) we have a lot of misconceptions about the aesthetics of our asses, specifically our assholes.
To set the record straight, here are eight lesser-known facts about butt aesthetics. It’s time to spread some knowledge.
1. Every butt grows hair—even a little
Of course, people with alopecia don’t have any body hair whatsoever. However, if we’re talking about common physiology, people usually have some degree of hair on their butt and around their hole.
2. Butts are prone to have darker skin than anywhere else on the body
Areas comprised of skin folds tend to have a higher concentration of melanocytes, the cells responsible for producing melanin. Melanin is our skin’s natural pigment; the more you have of it, the darker you are. Other areas that tend to have darker skin include your armpits, elbows, the backs of your knees, and your groin. This varies based on your genes.
3. It’s normal to break out on your butt cheeks
Your butt is exposed to so much moisture throughout the day — mostly from sweat and friction. Throw in the occasional shave, Nair, or wax, and you’re setting yourself up for a juicy breakout. We know you never intended for your skin care regimen to go below the belt, but the best way to help with butt acne is by cleansing with a gentle acne wash (even if it’s designed for your face). Leave it on for three minutes or so in the shower before rinsing it off so it penetrates the skin. Additionally, you can reduce anal acne with regular showers and keeping your butt dry and cool throughout the day as if you were a baby.
4. To prevent in-grown hairs back there, don’t wax
Waxing, along with shaving and using Nair, will likely increase the amount of acne on your behind. These hair-removal methods often result in follicle disruption, micro-injuries, and scabbing. When the follicle is covered, it can’t release the sebum your skin naturally produces to lubricate itself, which leads to active acne. If you want to manage hair overgrowth while preventing acne breakouts, switch to a larger clipper to buzz the hair. Or try laser hair removal if you prefer a smoother butt.
5. If you have dark acne scars on your butt, hope is not lost
Scarring is a case-by-case situation, so it’s best to be assessed by a professional. Most scarring can be dramatically improved through a combination of chemical peels, lasers, and/or microneedling. It just depends on the scars themselves. Whatever you do, don’t try over-the-counter products without consulting a professional — you don’t want to accidentally trigger post-inflammatory hyperpigmentation.
6. Laser removal can permanently destroy hair follicles
Laser hair removal is popular in the beauty industry because it wipes out any follicles it hits. Still, the body is able to create new hair follicles. The number of hair follicles your body makes is related to age, gender, hormone levels, and metabolism. Most of my patients who want to maintain a super-smooth appearance will go on a maintenance plan consisting of a laser session every few months.
7. Anal bleaching can be safe—if it’s done right
If you naturally have a darker hole and want a lighter one, hope is not lost. There are safe ways to gradually lighten the pigment of your hole. Options include a a light chemical peel or fading cream that specifically targets intimate areas. The idea is to go slow, especially in such a sensitive area. This is not an area where you want to use some of your stronger face products. The last thing you want is a burned asshole — trust us.
8. If your butt is loosened by anal play, you can tighten it with exercise
A lot of people assume that once your hole is stretched, it’s impossible to return to a tighter state without surgery. Nonsurgical tightening options do exist, ranging from at-home Kegels with the use of toys to in-office machines like the BTL Emsella. But first, it’s important to understand your anatomy and your muscles. Once you understand your own body, you can work on both controlled dilation and contraction. It’s best to get an evaluation from a professional and then work on streamlining an appropriate routine. With the right professional, you can, in the words of the great Bubba Sparxxx, “get it right, get it tight.”
Aesthetic practitioners are here to help you feel confident about your hole — but it’s important to understand that, ultimately, everyone is feeling the same way. We’re all sitting with the same worries and desires, asking ourselves questions about our bodies, and looking for someone to tell us we’re okay.
Like anything else on your body, there are limitations to how much you can change — but with laser hair removal and anal bleaching, you do have options. So, live up to your best bottom fantasy, and take pride in your behind.
This story was written in collaboration with Chris Bustamante, MS, RN at Bespoke Surgical.
