This Is Us
How to Support Your Dying Loved One
I watched my husband go through different stages. Here’s what to expect.
They told us my husband’s cancer was terminal: He had months to live. Maybe as long as a year. From that moment in the doctor’s office, we waited for death.
One day, Brock napped for an extra hour. Was this the end?
He woke up with a cough. Was this it?
With both of us in our late thirties, we had never witnessed death up close. On television, we watched Steve Jobs and Jack Layton (a Canadian politician) become skeletal as their cancers progressed.
“Will that happen to me?” Brock asked. We didn’t know. I patted his healthy tummy, assuring us both we weren’t in that final stretch, yet.
I read the books, found a spouses’ support group, and was matched with a hospice counselor. We met with Brock’s palliative care doctor and chatted with the home care nurses. We were surrounded by supportive experts.
And yet, I felt very alone.
In that final year, Brock slept or was sleepy much of the time. Eventually, he was not capable of making decisions. It was up to me to decide when to call for help, and when to let a new symptom play out. If it was after…
