I Gave Up Beauty to Be Me

To the world, I was conventionally attractive. Then I transitioned.

Devon Price
Human Parts

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A photo of me in 2016, shortly before I came out as nonbinary.

This piece contains discussion of eating disorders, weight, body image, and gender dysphoria.

ItIt was the first day of spring semester, and my friend Soyeon and I were catching up over lunch, trading stories of what we’d been up to over winter break. As the conversation hit a lull, Soyeon looked a bit gloomy.

“I gained weight over the break,” she confessed, following up by sharing the exact number of pounds.

I cringed. As someone who was just beginning to confront my own eating disorder, I couldn’t handle this kind of talk about weight, about gains and losses and needing a new wardrobe and hating oneself. Also, I had a bad feeling about where this conversation was going next.

After insulting her body a bit more, Soyeon’s face brightened, and she turned her focus toward mine. “I wish I had a body like yours. It’s perfect.”

I cringed some more. “Ohh, thank you…”

“In Korea it’s called an S-shaped body,” she said, miming a curvy silhouette with her hands.

“Oh, yeah,” I said. “People have told me I’m an hourglass…”

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Devon Price
Human Parts

He/Him or It/Its. Social Psychologist & Author of LAZINESS DOES NOT EXIST and UNMASKING AUTISM. Links to buy: https://linktr.ee/drdevonprice