This Is Us

I Used to Let My Son Hit Me in the Face, Until I Didn’t

Parenting is a constant work in progress

marie myung-ok lee
Human Parts
Published in
9 min readJan 25, 2021

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Shadows on pavement cast by a child and an adult holding hands as they walk.
Photo: AlexLinch/iStock/Getty Images Plus

I used to let my son, J, hit me in the face. I did not start out thinking, I will let my son hit me in the face. It was something that just happened.

Then, over time, it became “Oh, ‘that’ happened again,” reported to my husband. A…

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marie myung-ok lee
Human Parts

Columbia Writer-in-Residence. The Evening Hero (Simon & Schuster). Slate, Salon, NY Times, The Atlantic. Forthcoming novel about gun violence: HURT YOU (May)