I’m Terrified to Have Kids, but Still Want to
People say if you’re not 100% sure — don’t. What if it’s not that black-and-white?
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When I was a little girl, I liked playing with dolls. I liked inventing stories in my head, and acting them out using Barbies or Groovy Girls or Bratz. Remember Bratz?! My stories usually revolved around romance and adventure. They almost never involved kids, unless I had some child dolls laying around — then maybe they’d play a small side character.
My sister, on the other hand, played with toy babies. She liked playing the role of the mother — feeding the baby, burping it, changing its diaper.
She grew up always knowing that she wanted to have her own kids someday. By age 28, she’d birth two beautiful boys.
The older I got, the more convinced I felt that I would never have kids.
I stood firm on this until I was about 28. At the age my sister decided she was done having kids, I started thinking I might want them.
One conversation with Alex, the man who would become my fiancé, flipped that switch in my mind. I realized it wasn’t that I didn’t want kids — I just didn’t want the typical 9–5, middle-class parent life I…
