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Human Parts
A publication about humanity from Medium: yours, mine, and ours.

Attachment Theory

In Human Parts. More on Medium.

Humans 101

It’s become pop-psych shorthand for our entire personalities

I’ve belonged to my fair share of Facebook self-help groups over the years, and while the people in them are as diverse as the topics they’re looking for guidance on, I have noticed one constant. When it comes to relationship advice, the first response is almost invariably: “What’s your attachment style?”

It feels as though the simple psychological rubric of attachment theory has become a kind of interpersonal catchall—a shorthand for people’s entire personalities and outlook on life, erasing individual nuance in favor of a more palatable stereotype. But while attachment has become a powerful tool wielded by armchair therapists…


This Is Us

Learning about attachment styles has helped me contextualize my previously baffling dating patterns

Have you ever dated someone brilliant? The type who listens to astrophysicists interview each other for fun. Actually, scratch that — the type who ​​watches​​ astrophysicists interview each other for fun. On a projector. As in, the type who purchased a projector for the sole purpose of screening YouTube videos featuring two experts framed by a chilling white background, talking about specific things like the ways REM sleep contributes to longevity.

This, by the way, is just in their free time. A workday is a whole other story, which kind of goes like this: Wake up at 6 a.m., go…


Parents and kids torn apart at the border are losing something most of us take for granted

The news these past couple of weeks — families making what is surely a harrowing journey to our border only to see their children taken, to have to listen to their children shriek and cry for them, to have to imagine how their children are faring in some unknown place in some unknown city — has me thinking about what I take for granted every day as a parent: the ability to comfort and soothe my children when they need me. Specifically, it has me thinking of my middle child, who has required closeness from me since day one.

He…

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