This Is Us
The New Year Isn’t a Fresh Start, and That’s Okay
Even when bad things happen, the past influences us for the better
Time isn’t the main thing. It’s the only thing. —Miles Davis
Working around death and dying, I often feel different from other people—alone in a way. Very few people enjoy thinking about dying, disease, and the separation of this life from the “Let the Mystery Be,” as Iris DeMent describes it. Many people are intrigued but only in passing, as if I were a party trick. I understand the avoidance. It is a strange occupation to be with human beings for the express purpose of “helping” them die or, more often, helping their families help them die.
When I worked as a home hospice social worker, I was enamored with the HBO series Six Feet Under because, I think, when watching that show, I felt less alone. I felt that the characters — a family who owned and operated a mortuary — understood the way life and death walk side by side every moment of our lives. They shared that awareness with me, even though they were just characters on a TV show.
Seventeen years later (now a grief therapist working in private practice), I am watching the show again with my 15-year-old daughter. The last time I watched it…
