This Is Us
What I Learned From Teaching My Straight Friends About Gay Sex
Being a bottom makes straight people uncomfortable. Let’s talk about that.
I recently visited my straight best friend and his wife back in West Virginia and somehow, as is bound to happen, the subject of poppers came up. My friends, being painfully straight, didn’t know what they were. After I patiently explained their purpose and why bottoms (and sometimes tops) use them, I let them in on a little secret: I’m a bottom.
My straight male friend took this is stride. He’s known me for years, and given the fact that I don’t perform masculinity particularly convincingly, I’m sure he, in his straight way, always assumed I was a bottom. His wife, however, was far less sanguine about this revelation.
“You’re a catcher?” she exclaimed with mixed revulsion and incredulity, as if it had never occurred to her that I would occupy such a position. Nor was she content to let the matter stop there. “Do you ever pitch?” she asked, pushing the tired sports metaphor ever further. “Geez, T.J., why aren’t you a pitcher?”
Now, I wasn’t content to simply sit there and let her cast aspersions on my performance as a bottom. In my own inimitable way, I informed her that it actually takes a lot of…
