An Incomplete List of Foods Served in My House Growing Up
Like Krispy Kreme doughnuts my dad would smuggle past my mom
Hot Dogs And Beans. Tuna Noodle Casserole. Johnny Marzetti Also Known As American Chop Suey. Scrambled Eggs In The Microwave. Boston Market Rotisserie Chicken, A Bone Of Which My Dad Once Had To Heimlich Maneuver Out Of My Friend Mike Brosius’s Mouth To Save His Life. Berries Jubilee. Mocha Chip And Buckeye Blitz Ice Cream From Graeter’s. Cherry Cordial Ice Cream From United Dairy Farmers. My Grandma’s Friend Mrs. P’s Chocolate Chip Cookies That She’d Drop Off Once A Month On The Doorstep In Old Breyers Ice Cream Containers Without Ever Knocking Or Ringing The Doorbell. Challah French Toast. Thursday Night Pepperoni Pizza On Plastic Plates Even Though We Kept Kosher In The House But Decided That As Long As It Wasn’t Served On Our Actual Dishes We Could Basically Eat Whatever. Cakes My Niece Beatrice Made For Our Birthdays And Posted On Her Baking Instagram, Mark It With A Bea. The Greek Place. Famous Cheese Dish. Crunchies In The Middle, The Nickname My Other Niece Tillie Gave To Peanut M&Ms. Krispy Kreme Doughnuts My Dad Would Smuggle Into The House Unbeknownst To My Mom Until She’d Clean Out My Drawers And Find The Old Boxes Next To My Stash Of Condoms And The Tallis Bag My Grandfather Needlepointed Me For My Bar Mitzvah. Salad. Manischewitz. Leftovers.
If you enjoyed this, check out “Rough Drafts Of My New Bio.”
