This Is Us
The Perils of Dating in Middle Age
Apps, adult braces, and a strong commitment to my own independence
Marriage is a great institution, but I’m not ready for an institution. — Mae West
Improvisation (noun): the art or act of composing, uttering, executing, or arranging anything without previous preparation
When I got divorced, I imagined that after 18 years I might be “out there” dating again, and concerns arose about my appearance.
I know that’s very superficial, but if you ask any newly divorced person, it is realistic.
When I got divorced, I definitely thought dating would be a part of my life because that’s just what people do. It was part of everything I was told or read or witnessed about that unwanted passage. I didn’t want to be “out there,” but those were the cards I was dealt.
I felt scared but looked forward to falling in love again. I just didn’t want to date. I particularly became aware of all the details of my appearance that I would need to attend to while dating in middle age. In the psychology business, we would say I had ambivalence.
